


Freak Out

by ButterflyGhost



Series: Cold Outside [1]
Category: due South
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2012-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyGhost/pseuds/ButterflyGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of Victoria, Ray finds himself up North with a confused Benny, and muddled feelings of his own. What's a friend supposed to do? RayV and Benny, both in over their heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freak Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spuffyduds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/gifts).
  * Inspired by [On a Cloth Untrue, with a Twisted Cue (Loose Affiliation, Part One)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/46014) by [spuffyduds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/pseuds/spuffyduds). 



> Explicit sex between two men. Don't read if you don't like slash.

Ray was kinda freaked by how not freaked he was when Benny kissed him. Not that it was much of a kiss… a peck on the cheek, really. And he wouldn’t have thought Benny meant anything by it, except… It wasn’t really an Italian ‘tu sei la mia famiglia’ kinda kiss. It was too frightened for that. It was an ‘if I try this and he hates it I can pretend it didn’t mean anything, but please, please, please let him kiss me back’ kinda kiss.

Ray turned his head, and there was Benny blinking in the firelight, and looking scared. Trying to put up his ‘I am a man and a Mountie mask.’ Ray wasn’t buying it, because… well, even though Benny wasn’t blind anymore, and he wasn’t calling him Steve anymore, and he’d been walking okay even after the waterfall fiasco, he was still looking vulnerable, and a bit lost. The bandage on his head had got muddy when they scrambled up out of the water, and Ray supposed normally he’d be pretty pissed that after everything they STILL lost the raft, had to start all over again, but…

He couldn’t be mad at Benny. Not with that little kid, scared to death expression on his face. And then he remembered what Benny had said last night, about his Dad leaving him alone in the woods, in the dark, and building a fire, and…

Ah hell. He didn’t want Benny to ever think he had to be alone anymore.

So, he kissed him back.

It was only later, as Benny lay curled in the crook of his arm, that Ray started to freak out. He’d never done anything like that before. Never even thought of it. So… what the hell was that? He didn’t think he’d been particularly good at it… the kissing, yeah. He was good at kissing, and it turned out kissing a man was pretty much like kissing a woman, only with five o clock shadow, which he’d kinda liked. The sex bit… well, it was hardly even sex. Not the way he’d done it… just groping. He’d fumbled, like an idiot teenager, and been startled in a good way by how odd it felt to hold Benny in his hand like that, with the angle all upside down. Even more startled by how nice it felt to feel a foreskin gliding beneath his hand over that thick length. He was probably all kindsa clumsy, but it seemed to work, from the noises he was squeezing out of Benny.

And then, Benny juddered and came. For a minute, in the campfire glow, it looked like he mighta been crying. He was gasping, and there was a red-gold kinda glimmer reflecting down his face, that mighta been tears. Ray opened his mouth to say sorry, ‘cause… really, what had he been thinking… but before he could get a word out, Benny was down there between his legs and… oh wow. This… well, this was obviously something Benny had done before, ‘cause… He might be Super Mountie, he might be good at everything, but nobody was this good at blow-jobs if they’d not put in the practice. And this was the best damned blowjob of Ray’s entire life. He tried to be polite, not to shove up in Benny’s mouth… but Benny was chuckling against his cock, and humming, and… ha… Ray bit off a gasp of pained laughter… and he was NOT letting him come, dammit. Benny had one hand curled possessively and tightly around the base of his hard-on, and Ray was never gonna come through that vice-like grip. No woman would ever hold him that hard… but Benny knew he wouldn’t break. And then Ray was thinking about how Benny must do this to himself, and how that hand clutched round his dick right now… that hand was the hand Benny jacked himself with, and…

How could Ray feel this damn good and not be coming yet? He realised in a little part of his brain that he’d stopped even trying to be polite, and he was grasping Benny’s hair, and shoving and pushing, and making noises like… well, like he was having his brain sucked out through his dick. Benny… wow. When he looked down and caught a glimpse of him, he could see the curve of a porcelain cheek in the firelight, smudged by stubble and traces of river mud. Benny had his mouth full of Ray’s cock, and he was smiling. He slid fingers into the corner of his mouth, fluttered along Ray’s shaft with his tongue and fingertips, and even then Ray couldn’t come. He wanted to say something like, ‘bastard,’ or ‘god I love you,’ but all thought was pooling between his legs, and…

And then spit damp fingers were twirling around his balls, moving further back, sliding up his crack, to… His body arched as a finger slid in. Nobody had touched him there EVER. He’d never even touched himself there, and…

Benny slid in another finger, deeper, and moved them against… What the hell was that? Then, suddenly, the hand was released from its grip at the base of Ray’s cock, and Benny was suckling, and moving fingers inside him, and stroking his balls, and…then… THEN Ray came. And it was like he’d never come in his whole life before. It was a white hot blinding blizzard, and when the world came back, Ray's heart was a hammer, and every bone in his body had melted into goo.

It took fucking forever before he could figure out how to speak.

Benny was leaning above him, and… you’d think he’d look pretty damned pleased with himself, what with being a sex god and everything. But instead of looking smug, he looked worried.

“Are you alright, Ray,” he asked.

“Yeah,” Ray managed to breathe out. “Yeah, I’m good. You’re good…” he started to laugh, a little hysterically. “You’re fucking fantastic.”

Then Benny got with the programme, grinning like he was king of the world, and that was such a good look on him that Ray kissed him again. And he kissed, and kept on kissing, even though the kisses tasted like come, till Benny basically curled up next to him and passed out. And he didn't talk in his sleep to his father, or cry out, or let out little not quite sobs or giggles. Ray had heard Benny talking in his sleep off and on for so long now he took it for granted... like the way he talked to his wolf, or to himself when he thought nobody was listening. It was just one of the weird things Benny did. When it was Benny's turn to sleep on stake out, while he was recovering in hospital, or last night, talking gibberish to the dark trees, he never seemed to rest well. And yeah, it worried Ray, it freaked him out sometimes... but that was just Benny. So the guy had nightmares. Tonight though... tonight Benny was sleeping like an angel. The sleep of the just, the sleep of the happily fucked... Which was weird, because Ray hadn't done ANYTHING really... nothing that Benny couldn't have done himself with his own right hand. Benny lay there with his head on Ray's shoulder, looking as happy and peaceful as Ray had ever seen him... and Ray? Ray lay there looking at his best friend, while his arm went numb beneath the weight of him. His heart hurt, in a really weird way, almost like Benny was a girl he needed to look after, and Ray was... bewildered, thinking about Irene, and Angie, and... what the fuck did they just do? Thinking about love, and friendship, and how much it all hurt. Thinking about Benny sleeping next to him, and finally, finally... just beginning to freak.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Spuffydud's take on the subject... I read her AU [ Loose Affiliation ](http://archiveofourown.org/series/1791), and thought to myself... well, perhaps something equally difficult and complex would happen even if RayV and Fraser do go up North together, as they did in canon. So, I decided to explore it. F/V are not my 'one true pairing,' but I could certainly see things going in this direction if the wind was right. (Or wrong, depending on your point of view.) 
> 
> "Tu sei la mia famiglia" means "you are my family."


End file.
